By Tom Stewart, MA LLP
Prevention is typically something everyone can get behind. It can be unifying, bringing people together from various professions with a common goal. In the context of sexual abuse, the goal is no more victims; which also means no more perpetrators. And no more perpetrators means no more arrests, sentencing dates, prison terms, or parole hearings. No more forensic interviews of children, sexual trauma, or victims on the witness stand. We can all agree that these would be good things.
Prevention is difficult. We have become expert at responding to sexual trauma, but prevention is another matter. How do we encourage people to listen? Do we even agree on what to say? Recently, the YWCA of Grand Rapids made a commitment to prevention and hosted a men’s breakfast designed to accomplish three goals:
- Move the community beyond simply acknowledging the extraordinary need #MeToo has revealed and motivate more individuals to focus on the prevention of violence against women and children.
- Raise funding for the YWCA’s prevention and intervention programs that address domestic abuse and sexual violence.
- Engage more men in anti-violence efforts.
Tony Porter was the keynote speaker at the breakfast. He is an author, educator, activist and CEO of the organization A CALL TO MEN. Several of us from the MI-ATSA board attended the event. Tony was an engaging speaker who is known internationally. His presentation focused on the ways that deconstructing and redefining manhood can help prevent violence. Mr. Porter believes that the socialization of men is rooted in distancing themselves from the experiences of women. The result is a “man box” that keeps men thinking and acting in ways that can be harmful to others. Mr. Porter tells compelling stories of his own experiences with the “man box.” He described being at his brother’s funeral, watching his father apologize for crying, and feeling isolated as he worked to keep his own emotions hidden. Mr. Porter ended by advocating for a more comprehensive definition of “strength” that includes things like integrity, ethics, commitment, and faith; all of which are traits at the heart of prevention.